I see this meme over and over: Someone is behind the wheel (cue steely gaze of determination), and the text reads something to the extent of “deciding if I should go home or leave town.” Leave town? Really? That’s your big getaway plan?
If I’m gonna blow this popsicle stand, I’m not just gonna leave this town, state or country. I’m gonna truck it out of this planet, this solar system, this galaxy, this universe, and hitch a ride on a parallel dimension’s Big Bang and start from absolute square zero within absolute square zero.
I wasn't popular in high school. In a Catholic institution filled with all things blond, tan, ambitious, and religious, I was the weirdo agnostic who dug combat boots and barely saw the light of a grade higher than C. My sole friend—a conservative, prim Brainiac—never viewed me as a misfit, however. I was her dear pal. A sleepover buddy. I was the person who snuck into a vacant girls' locker room at lunch to philosophize life and Tolkien with her, without the background chatter of a blustering cafeteria. Before we graduated, I made the risky choice to tell her that I was bisexual. I never had a crush on her, I said, but I wanted her to know the real me, whatever that was, before we journeyed our separate ways to college. A week or two later, she sent me a lengthy hand-written letter, the old-fashioned way: through mail. It was one of the most beautiful, raw, and compassionate things I had ever read, filled with unconditional love and support. I was floored. In my head, I whispered continual gratitude—a thousand silent thank-yous to whoever listened to my internal ramblings that I had, despite my prediction, not lost a friend. I tucked her letter in my bedroom drawer and vowed to the stars I would respond soon. But I never did. And I never saw or heard from her again. in the wind a thousand apologies lost forever
is an award-winning poet and artist living in Centerville, Ohio. To learn more about her, please visit: www.tiffanyshawdiaz.com. She can be found on Facebook (@tsdartist) and Instagram (@tiffanyshawdiaz).